Top Five Wrestler Movies

Well, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has a new movie coming out soon. In it, he plays a Tooth Fairy. The movie is called "Tooth Fairy." This reminds me of something: Professional wrestlers have a habit of embarrassing themselves when they cross the line from sports entertainment to film. Steve Austin, John Cena and Kane all had films that were shown on the silver screen and bombed, and a handful of others had been in straight-to-DVD releases (surely nothing to be too proud of). Despite all the failures, wrestlers keep coming back for more. But really? The Rock as the Tooth Fairy. That's too much.

However, not all wrestlers have been doomed in the realm of film. Actually, some of them have been in truly good movies, and that's what should be remembered. So please, ignore "Tooth Fairy" and just keep in mind the following films.

5. "Ready to Rumble" (2000) Alright, when I said that some wrestlers were in truly good movies, this was not one I was thinking of. It is, however, funny, and that's better than nothing. It centers around two huge WCW fans who believe wrestling is real, so when their favorite wrestler, Jimmy King, gets thrown out of the business, they make it their quest to put him back on top. Never refraining from making a joke about wrestling fans or the business alike, this film hit close to home for me. I was one of those rabid fans who would get wrapped up in wrestling's artificial world. But as opposed to being offended, I was able to relate to many of the jokes and that made the entire experience that much richer. Considering its premise, you know it has to feature a hefty amount of wrestlers. Most prominently, though, you'll notice Diamond Dallas Page as the film's antagonist.  He did a decent job playing a jerk, but that hardly stretches a person's acting limitations.

   

4. "Southland Tales" (2007) Despite his upcoming film, Dwayne Johnson is one of the better wrestler / actors out there. "The Rundown" was a fine action film, and he was pretty funny in "Be Cool." But when it comes to his best film, and also his best role, "Southland Tales takes the cake. Directed by the man who did "Donnie Darko," "Southland Tales" is a Philip K. Dick book on hallucinogens. The original cut screened at Cannes was seen as so incoherent and rambling that it was almost universally hated by the audience. The re-cut version, though, is amazing. To attempt to sum it up in one sentence, the movie is about the end of the world. Of course, if the movie was as simple as that it wouldn't be very interesting. In fact, the movie focuses on the impending energy crisis, the government impeding civil liberties to maintain security, the evolution of reality television and a dozen other themes. Johnson stars in it as Boxer Santaros, an amnesiac action star whose role in the end of times is of the utmost importance. Still, as much as I like Johnson in this movie, Justin Timberlake stole the show for me.


3. "The Princess Bride" (1987) While I have problems with this movie as far as Princess Buttercup is concerned, the rest of it is fantastic. The land of fantasy portrayed in the film is pretty middle of the road, but that doesn't matter thanks to the amazing characters written in every scene. The stalwart Westley, the honorable Inigo, the maniacal Vizzini and treacherous Prince Humperdinck make the movie as great as it is. Perhaps obviously, the wrestler in this movie is Fezzik, played by Andre the Giant. His penchant for rhyming and overall gentleness helped him find a way into viewers' hearts, and I think it's safe to say that without Andre, this movie wouldn't be quite the same.


2. "Predator" (1987) This movie is something of an oddity. Not one, but two of the actors in this film went on to become governors. Of course, there is Arnold Schwarzenegger who has been running California since Gray Davis was kicked out. But secondly is Jesse Ventura, a former wrestler with the WWF, who went on to govern Minnesota. Known as Jesse "The Body" Ventura, he never accomplished much in the world of wrestling beyond being a great color commentator, but I suppose his political achievements make up for that. In "Predator" he plays Blaine, a musclebound man with a minigun. Next to the Colonel Miles Quaritch in "Avatar," Blaine is one of the biggest badasses in film history all thanks to one line. Perhaps in some cinematic timeline the two characters are actually related to each other. One can only dream.


1. "They Live" (1988) John Carpenter is a director that has managed to garner my affection in a way that not many others have. I mean, he's that man to bring us "Halloween," "Escape from New York," "The Thing" and "Big Trouble in Little China." How can I not love the guy? Especially when he also made "They Live." Possibly my favorite meld of science fiction and social critique, "They Live" delivers an interesting view of our world. In it, aliens have furtively placed themselves in our society disguised as the elite and powerful. In this position, they've began planting humans' minds with subliminal messages of "Obey" and "This Is Your God" in our advertisements and entertainment. The aliens also encouraged the expenditure of fossil fuels because pumping carbon dioxide and methane makes our atmosphere more like theirs, therefore more habitable. The hero to lead the charge against these aliens is George Nada, played by "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. With a pair of special sunglasses he can see the aliens for what they really are and help stop them. Possibly the most famous of the movie's scenes is one of the best / worst fights ever filmed.  But beyond that, Piper does a great job as the hero, and will be remembered in sci-fi film history.


It really shouldn't be surprising that professional wrestlers can be good actors. What they do on a weekly basis is live drama with fairly complicated choreography. Sure, I don't expect Dwayne Johnson to take home an Oscar any time soon, but just because a wrestler is featured in a movie I don't think it should automatically be considered trash. And, perhaps in time, others will join me in this open-mindedness. But movies like "Tooth Fairy" sure aren't helping the cause.