Have a Drink on Me

Alcohol is amazing, isn’t it? I mean, it’s found at virtually every event an adult attends. People toast champagne at weddings and down whiskey during wakes. They drink beers during sports games and sip cocktails at happy hour after a long day of work. You can find cultured adults at wine tasting events in Napa and college students pounding Jell-o shots and guzzling random spirits mixed with fruit juices at house parties. Alcohol is a cornerstone to virtually every culture in the world, and I’m thankful that the show “Three Sheets” exists to help spread the good word.

“Three Sheets” is a show on the Fine Living network that airs weeknights at 10 p.m. The program is hosted by actor, writer and comedian Zane Lamprey, who travels around the world to learn about the different drinking customs of various countries and regions. He’s been to places like Champagne, France where he found out it was distasteful to chug the region’s namesake drink and Tanzania where he drank a homemade mead-like concoction with local tribesmen. And that’s just two out of nearly three dozen places he’s visited so far. He’s even traveled to famous drinking places in the United States, such as Las Vegas and Kentucky (home of the national spirit: bourbon). Pretty much, if there is a place that has unique alcohol, Lamprey is there. 

The show is a mixture of a science class, a travel show and a night out partying with friends. I could see a program like this easily slipping into stupidity by just showing the same thing night after night (“Oh, Zane is getting drunk AGAIN”), but the show avoids this by adding the other two elements. He’ll talk science by telling the audience how a particular spirit is made or what makes a beverage different from another similar one (i.e. grappa versus pisco). And the travel show facet arises when Lamprey gives a brief history lesson of the area he’s visiting, like when he visited Croatia and explained how the modern day tie was invented there.

But, at the same time, the show isn't too intellectual or stuffy. Lamprey and his crew make the show as fun as possible. Sometimes it is a little heavy on the silliness due to an array of sound effects and cheap visual gags, but it never ventures in that direction for too long. Lamprey is a genuinely funny guy and somebody who I’d personally love to go drinking with. He’s quick to make friends at whatever bar he finds himself and is gracious to people who try to steal the spotlight or score free drinks (though he does give them a bit of teasing). If I had to choose a person to watch drink night after night, it would definitely be Lamprey.

And here is the best part of the show: it’s also a drinking game. As you may be able to discern from my love of Deadpool, I’m a fan when the fourth wall separating me and my subject gets broken, so the fact that there is audience participation makes my day. Here’s a brief outline of the rules. When Lamprey drinks, you drink. When Lamprey mentions his friend Steve McKenna, you drink. If you see a puppy, you drink. If you're the first spot Lamprey’s toy monkey, Pleeplius, you can make somebody else drink. And if somebody in your group burps, the last person to put up the “good burp” sign (thumb on your forehead, pinky in the air) has to drink. There’s more to it, but these are the basic rules. While I haven’t tried this game out yet, I’m boiling over with anticipation for the night that I get to.

Everybody drinks, and that’s not a bad thing. The liquid medium has an ability to magnify whatever emotions we put into it. It allows for celebrations to be merrier and gives us the ability to deflect sorrow for a bit longer. Partaking in its consumption also allows you to taste the essence of faraway places such as the thick Guinness stout that Ireland lends us or the crisp, refreshing taste Jamaican Red Stripe offers. It’s exciting, it’s revealing, and most importantly, it’s fun. 

Watch "Three Sheets" here!