My Freddy Vs. Jason

I've always been a fan of the Friday the 13th movies. I'd venture to say that the first four films were legitimately good slasher flicks, and the trail of sequels after that were entertaining in their own way (meaning they were usually so bad they were funny). So, when it came to choosing my favorite horror movie icon, Jason Voorhees has always been my pick. He's the most unstoppable of the macabre mascots, and he has the highest body count to boot (over 130 kills). 

Plus, I think the character Jason is interesting. Sure, the back story of him being a kid who drowned at a summer camp is neat, but that's not what I mean. What he represents is interesting to me. He's the embodiment of moral retribution. If you go against a certain set of socio-political ideals and you are in a Friday the 13th movie, then you are as good as dead. Michael Meyers, Leatherface and a plethora of other horror movie baddies kill anybody who gets in their way, good or bad, but Jason seems to serve a higher purpose. He's more than just a boogeyman; he's the punisher of sinners. Seeing a killer that...Catholic is oddly appealing and makes for some entertaining movies. 

However, with the re-imagining of "Friday the 13th," my fondness of Jason has begun to wane. His role of executioner of the wicked is essentially the same, but now he's missing something. His creativity vanished. I knew the story wasn't going to be engaging and the characters were just going to be caricatures, but I hoped the kills would at least be interesting. Despite Jason's pedigree of humorous and inventive murders, this film contains little else beside boring hacks and slashes. Even the cinematography of this remake made me think there'd be something unique. I mean, there were several shots that hung on a bug zapper for a couple beats too long, which can usually be seen as an indicator that it will be used as a weapon. But nope. Not here. Just superfluous shots, I guess. 

I can take a lot of things from the Friday the 13th films. Ludicrous plots, over-acting actors and poorly written dialogue mean nothing to me. But when I get bored, that's when I start having a problem. And this is coming from the guy who likes Jason X, so I clearly have a tolerance for bad movies. Of this generation's array of re-imagined horror movies, I think I may have to back a different character. And after watching the trailer for "A Nightmare on Elm Street," I think Freddy Kruger might be my next choice.

The Nightmare on Elm Street movies have always been horror classics (some more than others). Freddy is essentially a demon who kills people in their dreams as a way of getting revenge for his gruesome death. When a filmmaker enters the dream world for a movie, that's virtually a promise to the audience that things are about to get interesting. And as far as the trailer for the remake goes, it seems to deliver on this promise. The ambiance looks right with equal portions of dark bleakness and bizarre scenarios. My only concern is how Freddy himself looks (CGI for Freddy? Really?), but if all of the other ingredients are in place, this could still be a good slasher film.

So, one way or another, this is the end of an era for me. Jason can remain dead for all I care. I just want to know if Freddy can step up and take his place in today's horror movie world. Too bad I have to wait until April 2010 for my answer.

Ciao My Shining Star

It isn't often for a musical artist to really touch me. There are plenty of bands and singers I like, sure, but there aren't many who really grab me. Thinking back on it, I find a musician who actually means something to me about once every three or four years. And standing at the top of that short list is Mark Mulcahy.

There's an overwhelming chance you've never heard that name before, or if you have, it's because you've heard of him from me. However, if you were a child of the 90s, then you've might have heard his music before. He was the lead singer for the band Polaris who did the most of the music for the Nickelodeon TV show "The Adventures of Pete and Pete." The show itself was one of a kind. It was entertaining to children without pandering to them by supplying a superfluous amount of fart jokes. It was intelligent, creative and perfectly captured the unique way kids see the world.


But any fan of the show could tell you that one of its most memorable features was the music. Each song Polaris performed was an instant classic from the poignant "Everywhere" to the energetic "Coronado II." Polaris's music was such a cornerstone of the show that there was an episode dedicated wholly to one of their songs. Then, of course, there is the famous theme song that is bound to bring a rush of nostalgia to anybody who watched the show growing up.

While Polaris was the high point of Mulcahy's career for me, his work prior and since then shouldn't be ignored. In the 80s he formed the band Miracle Legion which claimed some success but was ultimately downplayed due to their musical similarity to the already popular R.E.M. And after "The Adventures of Pete and Pete," Mulcahy continued on to have a solo career releasing several CDs since the late 90s. The album he released in 1997, "Fathering," contained a track that made it into Nick Hornby's book "31 Songs." In the book, Hornby wrote about how the song "Hey Self Defeater" made it on to every mixed tape he made that year. Mulcahy's latest album, "In Pursuit of Your Happiness," debuted in 2005 and proved that Mulcahy still had the musical talent that made him such a star a decade earlier.

Last year, though, tragedy struck Mulcahy with the sudden death of his wife, Melissa. Since then, Mulcahy has been on his own to raise his twin three-year-old daughters and, reasonably, hasn't had time to create more music. But much like how Mulcahy's music affected me, it has inspired other musicians to join together and try to help the man they all admire.

The end result of their work is a 21 track CD called "Ciao My Shining Star: The Songs of Mark Mulcahy." Each entry is a cover of a Mulcahy song performed by 21 different musicians. Some of the bigger names on the CD include Thome York from Radiohead, Michael Stipe from the formerly mentioned R.E.M. and Dinosaur Jr. If you enjoy any of those musicians, you may want to give the CD a chance and listen to the songs of the man who motivated them. The CD comes out September 29 and will be most easily available on Amazon.

While I am excited that I get to hear the re-imagining of so many of my favorite Mulcahy songs, my anticipation for this CD is more than that. I'm happy that Mulcahy hasn't been forgotten in the musical world. He never made a very big splash, but this shows that his waves still reached others. He inspired, he influenced and he taught how truly put yourself in your music. Now with this new CD I can only hope that Mulcahy's waves travel a bit farther to inspire yet another generation of musicians.

Have a Drink on Me

Alcohol is amazing, isn’t it? I mean, it’s found at virtually every event an adult attends. People toast champagne at weddings and down whiskey during wakes. They drink beers during sports games and sip cocktails at happy hour after a long day of work. You can find cultured adults at wine tasting events in Napa and college students pounding Jell-o shots and guzzling random spirits mixed with fruit juices at house parties. Alcohol is a cornerstone to virtually every culture in the world, and I’m thankful that the show “Three Sheets” exists to help spread the good word.

“Three Sheets” is a show on the Fine Living network that airs weeknights at 10 p.m. The program is hosted by actor, writer and comedian Zane Lamprey, who travels around the world to learn about the different drinking customs of various countries and regions. He’s been to places like Champagne, France where he found out it was distasteful to chug the region’s namesake drink and Tanzania where he drank a homemade mead-like concoction with local tribesmen. And that’s just two out of nearly three dozen places he’s visited so far. He’s even traveled to famous drinking places in the United States, such as Las Vegas and Kentucky (home of the national spirit: bourbon). Pretty much, if there is a place that has unique alcohol, Lamprey is there. 

The show is a mixture of a science class, a travel show and a night out partying with friends. I could see a program like this easily slipping into stupidity by just showing the same thing night after night (“Oh, Zane is getting drunk AGAIN”), but the show avoids this by adding the other two elements. He’ll talk science by telling the audience how a particular spirit is made or what makes a beverage different from another similar one (i.e. grappa versus pisco). And the travel show facet arises when Lamprey gives a brief history lesson of the area he’s visiting, like when he visited Croatia and explained how the modern day tie was invented there.

But, at the same time, the show isn't too intellectual or stuffy. Lamprey and his crew make the show as fun as possible. Sometimes it is a little heavy on the silliness due to an array of sound effects and cheap visual gags, but it never ventures in that direction for too long. Lamprey is a genuinely funny guy and somebody who I’d personally love to go drinking with. He’s quick to make friends at whatever bar he finds himself and is gracious to people who try to steal the spotlight or score free drinks (though he does give them a bit of teasing). If I had to choose a person to watch drink night after night, it would definitely be Lamprey.

And here is the best part of the show: it’s also a drinking game. As you may be able to discern from my love of Deadpool, I’m a fan when the fourth wall separating me and my subject gets broken, so the fact that there is audience participation makes my day. Here’s a brief outline of the rules. When Lamprey drinks, you drink. When Lamprey mentions his friend Steve McKenna, you drink. If you see a puppy, you drink. If you're the first spot Lamprey’s toy monkey, Pleeplius, you can make somebody else drink. And if somebody in your group burps, the last person to put up the “good burp” sign (thumb on your forehead, pinky in the air) has to drink. There’s more to it, but these are the basic rules. While I haven’t tried this game out yet, I’m boiling over with anticipation for the night that I get to.

Everybody drinks, and that’s not a bad thing. The liquid medium has an ability to magnify whatever emotions we put into it. It allows for celebrations to be merrier and gives us the ability to deflect sorrow for a bit longer. Partaking in its consumption also allows you to taste the essence of faraway places such as the thick Guinness stout that Ireland lends us or the crisp, refreshing taste Jamaican Red Stripe offers. It’s exciting, it’s revealing, and most importantly, it’s fun. 

Watch "Three Sheets" here!

The Many Forms of Deadpool

After class Monday night, I decided to make a stop by my local Blockbuster. I’ve had a couple of movies longer than I should have, and I noticed they charged the films to my credit card. Taking this as an appropriate sign that they wanted their merchandise back, I didn’t want to put off the chore any longer. I intended to walk in and out, but a video game caught my eye: Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 (specifically the version for the Wii).

If you aren’t in the know (read: not a nerd), MUA2 is a dungeon-crawling role-playing game in which you control various Marvel superheroes and villains and proceed through various missions. As the title suggests, this is a sequel to the 2006 game that came out for various game systems. It was well received, most critics citing the expansive character selection and quality game play as high points. Most importantly, though, I enjoyed it a lot. Of course, a Marvel game would have to be terrible for to not enjoy it at least a little bit, but I digress.

So, along with handing over my tardy DVDs to the clerk, I proceeded to checkout MUA2. The clerk, apparently a fellow nerd, then challenged me to play as the Invisible Woman for the first half of the game. I respectfully declined saying that my two favorite heroes would be sharing my time: Iron Man and Deadpool. “Deadpool?” he sighed, shaking his head with obvious disappointment. What could he possibly have against Deadpool? Then it hit me that the movie “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” was being released on DVD the next day, and any negative reactions the name “Deadpool” would bring up probably came from that debacle. Let me explain….

“X-Men Origins: Wolverine” struck a sour note with me for not only being linear, formulaic and surprisingly boring, but because of the hack job it did with my beloved Deadpool. See, Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson, is a mercenary who has some serious mental problems. He rants with an ADD-like tenacity, not shutting up even when his life depends on it. Also, he frequently breaks the fourth wall between him and the reader, making him one of the few self-aware comic book characters. Beyond those quirks, he has a healing factor and is skilled at killing people in dozens of different ways.

This depiction of Deadpool apparently wasn’t interesting enough for Fox Studios. Instead they featured Wade Wilson, who was played excellently by Ryan Reynolds, and turned him into what is called “Weapon XI.” Weapon XI was a genetic experiment where the government gave Wilson other mutants’ super powers, including but not limited to laser eyes and teleportation. So, instead of having a smart-mouthed merc who carries a lot of guns and swords, the filmmakers opted for the final boss of a fighting game. Even worse, Weapon XI’s mouth was sealed shut, so any opportunity of witty banter was destroyed.

Sure, the fight scene between Weapon XI, Wolverine and Sabertooth was pretty to watch, but it was boring and never reached any worthy climax. And sacrificing my dear Deadpool for that was devastating. Sure, my regenerating degenerate will be getting his own film in a few years, and Ryan Reynolds has been saying that if he has anything to do with it, then it’ll be the real deal, but promising something sweet tomorrow doesn’t take the bitter taste out of my mouth today.

All in all, I understood the clerk’s disdain for Deadpool if his only experience was the Wolverine movie. But that didn’t diminish my excitement for the game. And when I got home I was pleasantly surprised to see that Deadpool was a playable character virtually right away. The video game’s depiction of Deadpool is immeasurably better than his in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” but it’s unfortunately one-dimensional. Like I said, Deadpool is a self-aware comic book character, so he does bring up things like the fact that he hasn’t seen somebody since issue 16 from time to time. But he does this intermittently. If he spouted off about being in a comic book every two seconds, it would be annoying…which is what he does in MUA2. And it doesn’t help the situation that the voice actor for Deadpool sounds like Michelangelo from “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” It’s almost enough to make me not want to play as him.

Almost.

Truth is that my adoration of Deadpool runs deeper than the shallow annoyances the game brings me. He’s a truly unique and interesting character in the Marvel universe and is part of one of the best series of comic book series I have ever read (Cable & Deadpool). I’ll suffer through all of the Weapon XIs and stereotypical video game characters the universe can throw at me if it means one day I’ll see him on the silver screen kicking butt and cracking jokes like only Deadpool can. But, in the mean time, that guy seriously needs to get a personal relations consultant.

Top Five Songs With "La la la" or Other Similar Phrase

Listening to the lyrics of a song is frequently a difficult task for me. Having to interpret words from different voices while they are entering my ears at a fast pace is a lot for me to keep up with. Maybe that doesn’t say a lot about me, but it’s the truth. However, some songs have made it easy for me to pick out lyrics. I’m primarily talking about songs that use lyrical phrases such as “la la la” or “na na na” or the like. Those words, if they can even be considered words, always manage to ingrain themselves in my memory pair with whatever tune accompanied them. So, this month my top five list is The Top Five Songs With “La la la” or Other Similar Phrase. This type of lyrical phrase has been used for decades and can still be seen in bands such as Everclear (“Wonderful”) and Pink (“So What”). So without further adieu….

5. “Centerfold” by The J. Geils Band: Some songs contain such stirring emotions that you can’t help but to be moved by their melody and lyrics. This is not one of those songs. This 1982 hit is nothing but light, catchy fun. I mean, the song is about a girl this guy had a crush on in high school who ended up being a centerfold in a skin mag. How serious could it possibly be? But the song had so much energy and charisma that it topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart for six weeks and was rated #52 on Billboard’s All Time Top Songs. And on a personal note, I challenge you to listen to the song and not get the “na na na” part stuck in your head. Even Pam Beesly hummed it in the “Customer Survey” episode of the office (Season 5 Episode 6). Listen!

4. “Piano Man” by Billy Joel: Now to perform a complete 180 from my last pick, this is one of the saddest songs I can conjure up right now. Billy Joel’s inarguably signature song is about the regulars at a bar where Joel used to work as a piano player. These frequent customers live unhappy, depressing lives but listening to Joel play the piano allows them to forget about reality for a little while and experience a sliver of joy. This song is heartbreaking. Look at some of the subjects of the song. “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine/ He gets me my drinks for free/ And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke/ But there’s someplace he’d rather be/ He says, Bill, I believe this is killing me/ As the smile ran away from his face/ Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star/ If I could get out of this place.” But he doesn’t get out; he’s stuck in his bittersweet purgatory of a bar. And it’s the tragedy of that misplaced optimism that makes me loves this song so much. Listen!

3. “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” by Steam: If I were doing this list scientifically, and I was judging purely by popularity and cultural resonance, this would top the list. The impact and reach of this 1969 hit is immeasurable. I think children in utero know this song already. It can be heard in a bevy of sports venues from baseball to hockey to the non-sport of professional wrestling (most notably during the much anticipated match between Brock Lesnar and Goldberg at Wrestlemania XX, which was without a shadow of a doubt the most disappointing face-off in the history of the business). And not only does the song embrace real life stadiums and fields, it is also widely used in sports movies, such as in “Remember the Titans.” Thanks to the tongue-ensnaring chorus, this song has been made the biggest one hit wonder of music history (kicking the stuffing out of “Macarena”). Listen!

2. “Hey Jude” by The Beatles: Here’s what I knew about “Hey Jude” before I started writing this post. First, it was by The Beatles, and second, it was very pretty sounding. That’s it. But after studying up on it, I discovered that it has a meaningful origin. See, in 1968 John Lennon was getting separated from his wife Cynthia due to John’s affair with Yoko Ono. Cynthia took her and John’s child, Julian, with her. One day Paul McCartney, who was very close to Cynthia and Julian, drove out to visit them and see how they were doing. On the way there he wrote this song, originally called “Hey Jules,” to give Julian some support during what must have been a tough time dealing with his parents’ divorce. McCartney changed the titular name to “Jude” because he felt it sounded better, but the message remained the same. Don’t let a bad situation define you. Do what you can and find happiness. Listen!

1. “Hush” by Deep Purple: Yes, I snubbed Rolling Stones’ number eight pick on the list of 500 Greatest Songs for not only a cover song (the original performer was Billy Joe Royal), but a cover song that only peaked at number four in the U.S. charts when it was released in 1967. But my lists aren’t about outright popularity. They are about what I like the most, and for this list that is this song. I like it because it reminds me of the 60s and 70s, a time in which I never existed and contain only an imagined fondness. I like it because the music and lyrics combine together to create a sound that is frantic, sensual and even a bit eerie. It’s those qualities that make this song so versatile when used in films (In “Taking Woodstock” for its nostalgia inducing capabilities and “I Know What You Did Last Summer” for its spookier effects) and why it touches me so deeply. So, if you don’t like it, then hush. Listen!

Cops: A Bad Influence 20 Years and Counting

I come from a law enforcement family. I am currently related to a myriad of law enforcement officers from detectives to probation officers to correctional officers to prison maintenance men. My great grandfather was even the chief of the state police during the late 50s (although that apparently didn’t end too well). But even with the influence of the criminal justice system in my family life, I have always known one simple truth: The show “Cops” is terrible.

Now, I don’t mean terrible in the sense that it is of poor quality, such as how “Castle” is a terrible show (returning to ABC September 21!). No, I mean it is bad for the people who watch it. It affects the viewers on a subconscious level and after prolonged exposure makes them into inferior human beings.

For those of you who aren’t in the know, “Cops” is a reality television show that began airing on FOX in 1989. The premise of the show is that a camera crew follows around police officers from different cities and films what their shift is like. Now, the important aspect of the show is that a good portion of it is filmed from a first-person view of the camera operator.

This point of view is important because it allows for an extra depth of submersion. After all, first-person view is how we all see the world, so when we see a show like “Cops” or films like “The Blair Witch Project” and “Cloverfield,” it helps us feel as though we are there. And since the camera operator is working with the police, we feel as though we are there and on the same side as the cops. This means that when the cops to catch a meth head or some other public nuisance, we feel as though we helped in some way. I mean, if your football team wins, then you won, too, right? And how do we feel after we did something good like help arrest some villain? That’s right, we feel good.

But, really, we didn’t do anything to feel good. We sat on a sofa chomping away on snack food while our empty eyes reflected flashes of light from the TV screen. But still, due largely to the camera subjective camera, but also to the entire premise of the show, we have that good, prideful feeling. And that feeling, when unearned, is dangerous.

Let’s shift gears here for a second. Say you reward a child for doing something bad. What happens? You just taught that child that when he or she does something bad, they will get a treat. So, in order to get treats, the child will continue doing bad deeds and eventually turn into a small, impish cretin. That’s behaviorism 101. The same logic goes for John Doe watching “Cops” at home. He sits at home watching “Cops,” which while certainly not evil isn’t exactly a venerable deed, and gets rewarded when the police make their arrest. Mr. Doe likes the feeling of being rewarded (of course, this reward is on a subconscious level) and watches more “Cops.” Before you know it, Mr. Doe has gone from a mediocre individual to an obnoxious, arrogant man whose highest point of the day is watching some guy named Jethro get tackled while running down the mean streets of Maynardville, Tennessee.

In short, “Cops” does nothing but enact a feedback loop to cause elitist people to feel more elitist. It is nothing but sensationalist drivel that is as good for the mind as fast-food is for the arteries. However, since it is also as addictive as fast-food, it’s been around for 20 years and will probably be around for 20 more. And all the while it’ll be working its magic on the public, turning semi-decent folks into pretentious parasites.

Oh well, at least we got a catchy theme song out of the deal.