I Hate Emo Music So Much I Cut Myself

Music, more than any other branch of the media, is subjective. Two people can hear the same song and get completely different messages from it. And besides the meaning of the lyrics, different sounds appeal to people. Some people may really love guitar solos in metal bands. Others love the rhythmic vocals of R&B songs. So, when talking about music, it is difficult to get a large group of people to agree on what is good and what is not. With that said, emo music is pretty much terrible.

I’ll begin with the aesthetic aspect of emo music. The songs just don’t sound good. The vocals are whiny. The Used illustrates this point exactly. Bert McCracken shows how shrill he can be in the song “All That I’ve Got” within the first 30 seconds. Besides the piercing singing, there is also the rasping screaming featured in many songs. A great example of this is in “I’m Not Okay” by My Chemical Romance. It’s featured throughout the song, but can be specifically heard around the 2:50 mark. The screams are as though the singer gave up on being harmonious and just wanted to be loud.

I mean, I kind of get it. The screams are for the parts of the songs where the singer needs to convey extra emotion. They scream for the parts where the lyrics get “deep.” Well, let me tell you about those emotional lyrics. They’re nonsense. In “Silver Bullet” by Hawthorne Heights, the lyrics say, “Got a single silver bullet/ Shot right through my heart/ To prove I can’t survive/ Without you.” I’m not saying songs about lost love are bad. Many great songs have been written on the subject, such as “Now That It’s Over” by Everclear. But it’s the way emo lyrics go about it. Much like the singing, the lyrics sound whiny. There’s no dignity in them. The words clearly say this man is going to die without this woman. His life will be over all because of this one incident. I’ve felt like this before, don’t get me wrong. But I never wrote about it and got rich. I have a bit much self-respect for that.

So emo music sounds bad and the lyrics are garbage. All that is left is the band members themselves, and they are no saving grace. I like to be diverse when speaking on subjects like this to show it isn’t just a band here or there that sucks, but when it comes to band members, there is a specific target I enjoy: Gerard Way. He is the frontman and lead vocalist for My Chemical Romance. He is the first experience I had with the emo genre and I have yet to recover. A friend of mine wanted to watch the making of th video for “I’m Not Okay” a while back, and I, being a good friend, obliged. However, as soon as I heard what the song was, I was in a constant state of agony. Yes, the song was bad, but what was worse was looking at Way. In the video he looks as though he had been sprayed in the face with mace. It isn’t mace, of course, it’s eye shadow. Bright red eye shadow. I’m not saying men can’t wear make-up. I’m saying nobody should wear make-up that makes them look that bad, though. On top of his eye shadow catastrophe, he is the whitest man on Earth with jet black hair (dyed no doubt). And, the cherry on top this fashion nightmare is the fact his hair is greasy. That’s just not okay.

Emo music sucks for more reasons than this, but these are the reasons most closely attached to the music itself. If I wanted to, I could throw in the fashion trends that have been spurred because of the genre, or I could throw in the emotional trends, both shown in this video with clarity. In the end, though, when it comes to taste in music, the music itself is what’s most important. And when it comes down to it, emo music just sucks.

My Week in Media 6/22/08

Everything’s Eventual

Stephen King’s Everything’s Eventual is a collection of short stories published in 2002. There are 14 short stories in the book, and if you like King, most of them are good. He does something different with these stories than he has done with previous ones. The stories in this book aren’t all about the dark and macabre. Instead, there are quite a few “realistic” stories, such as that of a man who is about to be autopsied before he’s dead and the fictional story of the Dillinger gang.

I liked how he departed from the typical spook stories. When reading the autopsy story, I felt as though it wasn’t King writing it. There’s nothing wrong with knowing King wrote the story, but it’s a good thing King can shift his voice after all of these years.

The collection isn’t without King’s usual scary tales, though. One of my favorites is 1408, which was recently made into a movie starring John Cusak and Samuel L. Jackson. The story is about an author who writes reviews on haunted locations but is a skeptic on the subject. So, he’s told about this haunted room in a hotel and wants to stay in it to see if ghosts actually do exist. I won’t ruin it for you, but the room is more than what the author was expecting.

Overall, it was a good short story collection, but not King’s best. If you’re looking for his best, I’d go for Night Shift

Be Kind Rewind

Michel Gondry’s Be Kind Rewind stars Jack Black, Mos Def, and Danny Glover. It is about the owner and employees of a run down video (VHS only) rental store in Possaic, New Jersey where a famous jazz singer was born. The store was going under and while the owner was away, Black’s character accidentally erased all of the tapes due to be magnetized, dooming the small business. Def and Black, desperate to supply a copy Ghostbusters for an old lady, decided to make their own version. This act snowballs into them making many other remakes, and of course, trouble comes shortly thereafter.

I liked this movie a lot, but it was very different than what I was expecting. The synopsis I read for it and the trailer I saw for it both made me believe this was going to be a straight forward comedy, but it’s more heart warming than that. It wasn’t as funny as it was a plain old good movie. It’s a fair trade off, I think.

Cel Damage

The now out of business, Pseudo Interactive’s game Cel Damage is a cartoony vehicular combat game released for the Xbox, PS2, and Gamecube. There’s not a real story to it, but I will try to explain it anyway. The game is about a cartoon show in which the characters battle each other repeatedly. Yeah, that’s the best I got.

I’m a bit partial to the vehicular combat genre, and considering the lack of games in the genre, Cel Damage is a welcomed addition. The main mode is a free for all battle where you have to score 500 points to win. There are 12 different levels, and a large arsenal of weapons to pick up on the battle field. The weapons are cartoon based such as a giant axe, harpoon gun, boxing gloves, holes your enemies can fall in to, and giant saw blades to name a few.

I like the entire cartoon effect the game has. It’s light hearted, but not too childish. It’s easy to pick up and play, but takes time to really get good at using the weapons. Because it’s a rather old game, and an unpopular one at that, I bought it for four dollars. Even if it isn’t the greatest game in the world, it was worth the money I spent.

The Future of Nintendo (Home Console Version)

The GameCube era is gone. That purple lunchbox is a thing of the past. Now Nintendo can live without shame thanks to the Wii. Regardless of what core (“dedicated”) gamers think, the Wii is selling magnificently and is therefore a success. In the year and some change the Wii has been out, it has already outsold the GameCube. So, after more than five years of being ridiculed, mocked, and jeered on the home console front, Nintendo can finally raise its head high and be proud of itself. They developed something innovative and fun, and even after a year and a half of being released, the Wii is still hard to find.

But now Nintendo has the job of keeping its status. It’s easy to be successful for a while, but maintaining success is more difficult. In order for the Wii to remain in good standing with the public, it’ll need to improve online play, develop more mature titles, maintain online content, and release more first-party titles.

Online play is an important facet in gaming. Many gamers won’t consider playing a game if it doesn’t have some sort of online play. Microsoft and Sony have both shown the importance of online gaming, and if Nintendo wants to stay relevant, then they’ll have to push themselves harder. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is one of the first games to fully utilize the online capabilities of the Wii, and it was disappointing.

“For the most part, the non-online part, 'Brawl' is an amazing game. But the online play is lah-ha-ha-ghee,” a gamer said in his blog. “Sometimes Nintendo really makes me wonder. It's as if they assumed no one would want to try out this new-fangled online feature of a game the company has delayed over and over and over.” There’s been more success with Mario Kart Wii, but Nintendo will need to have more than just one game that plays well online if the company hopes to do well.

Since Nintendo targets a wide, family-based audience, it is seen as a childish company. Cooking Mama, Wii Fit, and the myriad of other casual-gamer oriented games have been supporting this conclusion. Unfortunately, this watering-down of video games upsets or disinterests many gamers who want mature content in their games. These gamers look for something along the lines of Metal Gear Solid, Grand Theft Auto, Halo, and etc. In order to satisfy this demographic, Nintendo should make some games on the more mature side.

No More Heroes was a step in the right direction, and the recently announced game Mad Mad World looks to be taking a bigger step in that direction. What would be a better idea would be to release a mature game with online play. That way the replay value would keep up, and the mature gamers will spread the good word.

The Virtual Console was a smart move by Nintendo. Many gamers have fond memories of playing their NES, SNES, or N64 games, but can’t any more. This way, for a fee, gamers can play those games again and live up their nostalgia. Nintendo also made the brilliant move of getting the rights to sell Sega, Neo-Geo, and Turbografx games. And if this wasn’t enough, Nintendo out did itself with WiiWare, original downloadable games. WiiWare games must be made with certain graphical and size limitations, but they still get good marks. LostWinds, one of the first released WiiWare games, is a sterling example. The only problem stemming from the Virtual Console is the lack of storage space on the Wii. Nintendo seems to acknowledge this, but gives no real answers.

People love Nintendo because of its franchises. Mario and Link are a part of nearly every gamer’s childhood. And the games that come out are great. Super Mario Galaxy and Twilight Princess are both awesome games for the Wii, but this isn’t enough. It was seven years between Majora’s Mask and Twilight Princess. It was 12 years between Mario 64 and Super Mario Galaxy, not counting Super Mario Sunshine. There hasn’t been another true Donkey Kong or Kirby game since the days of the N64.

Nintendo needs to delve into its first party titles more. Not just plaster Mario’s face on a racing game, or Donkey Kong’s face on a rhythm game. If Nintendo were to release one good first-party title a year, then that would be enough to satisfy most core gamers. Mario one year, Zelda the next, then Donkey Kong, then Kirby, then Samus, so on and so forth. That’d give Nintendo at least five years to create another game of a certain franchise.

This isn’t to say Nintendo should give up on the spin-offs. Those are great. Super Mario Strikers is one of the best Wii games out. But they should focus on what made their characters popular in the first place.

Nintendo is having a great run with the Wii, but if they want it to be a long distance run and not a sprint, then they need fix the problems they have. This could be a great era for Nintendo, but that’s in Nintendo’s hands.

Week in the Media 6/15/08

The Regulators:

Ideally, I won’t write about books, or anything for that matter, that came out over ten years ago. However, I read what interests me, and often times that means I read older books. I recently finished Richard Bachman’s The Regulators, which was released in 1996. It’s about a number of families who live on a suburban block in Ohio and the attack they must face together. In the book, the cozy block is attacked by violent Power Ranger types called MotoKops. The thing is the MotoKops aren’t real, they’re TV characters. And if they were real, they presumably wouldn’t be killing innocent people. Then, little by little, the block changes into an entirely different setting.

I won’t go into any further detail about the book itself except to say I liked it. It’s what I would expect of a Bachman book, but this is by far his most mystical. His other works (Roadwork, The Long Walk, The Running man) are all based in physical universe. Nothing unexplainable happens there. Nothing spiritual or magical happens. The Regulators is the opposite. A large piece of the plot is based in the existence in of another realm. This doesn’t make it bad, just different. And in this case, different is good.

House M.D., season 4:

I’m a fair pace behind everybody in terms of TV because I have to watch it on the internet. So it wasn’t until recently I was able to finish off the newest (4^th) season of House M.D. The season as a whole was pretty good, but not fantastic. I liked the game show he ran in order to get his new crew. It let us get to know a number of characters, and since most of them were eliminated, the game show setup kept us wondering who’d be gone next. I was happy with the team he eventually picked. Kutner and 13 were my two top picks, and I preferred Taub to Cutthroat Bitch.

I’m glad the former team members aren’t completely gone. I’ve always been ambivalent to Chase, but the fact Cameron and Foreman are still there is a huge bonus for me. Especially Foreman; he’s my favorite of them all.

The cases were as interesting as ever and this season satisfied me. It just lacked the drama I was hoping for. It’s tied with the 2^nd season for my second place, and season three will forever be my favorite.

The Happening:

A lot of people do not like M. Night Shyamalan. Like, at all. I don’t get it. I think he’s a great director, even if a few of his films aren’t so great. So, when I talk about The Happening, keep in mind I don’t hate the guy.

Compared to the rest of his film catalogue, I’d place The Happening smack dab in the middle. It would place underneath Unbreakable and Signs, but above The Village and The 6^th Sense.

As far as acting goes, everybody was great. Mark Wahlberg, who is in about 90% of the movie, played a science teacher. Wahlberg, more than anything else, is funny in the movie. It’s a dramatic movie, and there’s plenty of drama, but he is a funny character. First, he’s funny in a comical sense. He teases his students and proves his sanity in unique ways. But then he is also funny in a weird way. His character doesn’t seem quite normal. He’s a little quirky.

Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo co-star in the film and they’re both good, too. Deschanel is quickly being typecast as a neurotic woman, a role she plays well, but I’d hate to see her limited in such a way. Leguizamo plays a math teacher who works with Wahlberg. He’s pretty funny, too. Funny-funny and weird-funny.

There’s a scene in the movie that I found amazing. It’s been shown on national television, so I don’t feel as though I’m spoiling anything by writing about it. When the group Wahlberg and Deschanel are with travels through a field, they hear another, larger group behind them. The other group is positioned behind a hill, so Wahlberg and company can’t see them. All they can do is hear paced gunfire. Wahlberg’s group stops and tries to figure out what to do, and they all put pressure on Wahlberg to decide. The camera focuses on Wahlberg’s face while his group is panicking and while the gun fires as steadily as a metronome. This scene is my favorite in the movie because I could feel the pressure and stress being put on to Wahlberg’s character. And not being able to see what was happening on the other side of the hill was a lot more thrilling than if the camera had shown it. It was a perfect scene in a pretty average movie.

House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return:

I love rail shooters. They aren’t the deepest games in the world, but they are fun, and a large part of my childhood was spent playing Area 51 and House of the Dead. And now, thanks to the controls of the Wii, rail shooters can make a good showing at home. I had never played House of the Dead 2 or 3 before playing the Wii version. They’re both pretty fun, though.

House of the Dead 2 has some of the cheesiest dialogue in video game history. The characters I save I would rather kill just because of how bad the voice acting is. The graphics are barely better than House of the Dead, if at all. The appeal is in the fact that the game is so cheesy, it’s fun.

House of the Dead 3 is a bit different. The graphics are a lot better in this installment, and a lot of the cheesiness has been taken out. A perk for me is that instead of using a handgun like in the two previous games, you have to use a shotgun, possibly one of my favorite guns to use in a video game. Like House of the Dead 2, I don’t pay attention to the story, though. It’s not worth it. The story is like a poor man’s Resident Evil. If I want a zombie story, I’ll go to the franchise that does it the best.

The games are fun, though. I play them using the Wii zapper. It doesn’t require the nun chuck attachment, so all you need to do is pop in the Wii remote and begin playing. Also, like in the arcade versions, you have to point off the screen in order to reload. This was a particularly nice feature for me, as it adds to the nostalgia factor.

Iron Man Review

I have been a fan of Iron Man since I was a kid. Not of the comics, though. I didn't buy my first comic book until I was 13, and then the first comic I bought was a Deadpool comic. But I loved Iron Man through his toy lines and cartoon series. It amazed me how many different suits one man could have. He had armor for every situation. He had stealth armor, underwater armor, outer space armor, subterranean armor and even armors as specific as Hulk-Buster or Thor-Buster armor. I think the various power suits interested me because of how big of a fan I was of Mega Man, a video game character who also various armors, but who knows.

Finally the day came when I started reading his comics. It wasn't long until I was an Iron Man expert. His comics were interesting to me because I was used to stories where the protagonist was the under dog, but Iron Man was different. Tony Stark, the man behind the mask, was the exact opposite of an under dog. He was an upper dog, if you will. He’s rich, charming, and Republican. What more does a man need to succeed in life? Look at Spiderman. He lives in a slummy apartment or with his aunt. He’s a photographer for the Daily Bugle, so obviously he’s a loony liberal. The X-Men are ostracized by society for being different. All of the money and conservative values couldn't save them from being outcasts. Tony Stark, in the universe the Marvel writers created, sits at the top of the food chain.

I’ll state right now I don’t consider Iron Man a super hero. He doesn't do things for the good of the world. In the original series, he was a crusader against Communism. This is what I consider political rhetoric. Also, he travels the world and fights people who steal his technology. I don’t consider this super heroism; I consider this responsible capitalism. Tony Stark wants to make some money, which is respectable in a capitalistic society, but at the same time, he wants to do it the “right” way. What is right or wrong is subjective, but we learn Stark’s definition of it through his comic books. So, while he may not be a super hero, he at least has an interesting story.

The premise of Iron Man is Tony Stark, a government funded weapons inventor, was testing a new device overseas during the Vietnam War. During the test, Stark was ambushed and kidnapped by the Viet Cong. When Stark woke up, he found himself in a P.O.W. camp and was blackmailed into creating a weapon for his captors. On top of this, a piece of shrapnel was embedded in his chest and was moving closer to his heart. Stark would be dead in less than a week unless he agreed to his captors’ orders. He agreed to build a weapon for the communists, but instead built a suit to save his life and fight his way out of the camp.

Instead of having the film take place during the Vietnam War, director Jon Favreau set the movie a conflict in the Middle East. The terrorist organization is called the Ten Rings, and they have been buying Stark’s weapons without his knowledge and using them for evil. This keeps up with the original idea pretty well. However, this poses a problem for me.

I understand Favreau didn't want to change the origin too much, but the terrorist organization is made up of only brown-skinned people from the Middle East area. I don’t believe characterizations like this should be continued, even if it is to help the accuracy of the film adaptation. In the scenes where Tony Stark was taken back to the caves and filmed, my face actually blushed because I was embarrassed by what was happening. I could only guess how people of Middle Eastern descent felt.

On the other hand, the original Iron Man origin was pretty offensive in itself. The warlord who captured Tony Stark was drawn as a stereotypical Asian with slanted eyes and buckteeth. Maybe Favreau wanted to keep the offensive material, but update it to fit today’s global climate. That isn't meant to be an excuse for Favreau, but a way for me to understand his point of view. Still, after watching the film several times, I would have preferred something along the line domestic terrorists. It would have fit the story well enough and avoided creating a group of “Others.” Maybe then I could watch the first half of the film without getting knots in my stomach.

The next part of the film centered on Tony Stark changing his business practices, throwing away the government weapons contracts, and improving the design of his suit to destroy any of his weapons that may have gotten into the wrong hands. There’s a lot of conflict in regards Stark quitting his weapons program, and there’s a lot of humor involved in Stark developing his suit.

In the final part of the movie, Stark realizes Stane has been responsible for selling weapons to the terrorists, and that Stane is actually working on a power suit of his own. It ends in a one sided but entertaining battle, and then the film wraps up with the greatest press conference ever held. Also, there’s a bonus scene after the film I will go into later.

So, the story as a whole was pretty good. I was a little bored in the beginning when Stark was held captive, but once Stark made it back to the States, all was good. The writing was great, too. I’ll try not to delve too much into the acting aspect yet, but Stark’s one-liners were perfect. The question Stark answered about how many Maxim cover girls he slept with was priceless and fit perfectly with who Stark is. Stane transitioning from loyal business partner to backstabber was great. Had I not known about his character, I would have trusted him until the last third of the movie, give or take a few minutes. Rhodes as the upset best friend worked well, too. The writers did a good job keeping his personality the same from the comics. And Pepper Potts, Tony Stark’s personal assistant, was as strong as I remembered her being, never afraid to put Stark in his place.

The acting was perfect. More than any other character, Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark carried the film. There’s a good chunk of film where it’s Stark by himself, so Downey’s performance was vital. Every quip was perfectly delivered, Stark’s nuances shown through brilliantly, and, most importantly, Downey became Tony Stark. He was exactly how I imagined the character would be if brought to life.

Without a good villain, a good hero means nothing, so onto Jeff Bridges playing Obadiah Stane. In the first half of the film, Jeff Bridges is as lovable as I remember him ever being, granted he has the evildoer hairstyle (bald with a menacing beard). But he acted friendly and had very kind eyes. I would call them terrifyingly kind eyes. He reminded me of my grandpa. But when it was required, Jeff Bridges was able to turn into an actual villain. He would control the scene with his presence. One scene I found him particularly scary in was when Pepper Potts was downloading Stane’s files from Stark Enterprises, and Stane walked in on her. A lot of it was writing, but a lot of it was Bridges’s presence as an actor. He was able to portray that cool, threatening vibe I don’t see in many movies.

The other actors all performed well. Terrence Howard played James Rhodes, Tony Stark’s best friend. He was able to express in few words how close he and Stark were, and how much he cared for Stark when he went missing. And it’s in that lack of words that true friendship is expressed. But also, when it was time to be pissed off at Stark, Howard was able do that too. Gwenyth Paltrow, who played Pepper Potts, was good, too. Pepper Potts doesn't strike me as an easy role. Potts loves Stark, but she can’t show it because he is her boss. Potts is so conservative with herself that she doesn't want to appear like just another knot on Stark’s belt. At the same time, she cares about him and wants to be with him. Potts is very professional and keeps Stark in his place when he needs it. Paltrow was very good at this. She has a sarcastic tone she would use whenever she needed Stark to stop thinking like an adolescent. In a scene where Potts had to help Stark replace the arc reactor in his chest, Paltrow conveyed confusion, worry, fear, anxiety, and panic all in one. Thinking in retrospect, I think Paltrow is the perfect woman to play Pepper Potts.

If Iron Man is nothing else, it is glamorous. Tony Stark is a rich playboy, after all. He should be the epitome of glamour and fame, and this movie doesn't fail. Stark’s mansion is very elegant and modern. His cars, Audi vehicles, look fantastic, as does everything that’s a product of Stark’s lifestyle. My favorite personal touch is Stark’s private jet. The stripper pole that comes from the floor is something I imagine in every private jet.

The most important aspect of this movie is the suit. Iron Man is the suit. If the suit looks terrible, then the movie will be terrible, too. However, Industrial Lights and Magic (my favorite special effects house who also did the effects of last year’s Transformers) blew away all of my prior expectations. There are scenes where the suit is real and scenes where the suit is CGI, but I can hardly tell which is which. The suit was detailed enough that after every flight or conflict you could see small scratches in the armor. After the final fight between Stane and Stark, the suit is especially smashed. This movie cost $140 million and it seems like ever cent was well placed.

So, shockingly enough, I loved Iron Man. Every aspect I can think of was fantastic. As good as the film was, Favreau couldn't leave it there. He had to one up himself. After the credits there is a special scene. It shows Tony Stark arriving to his mansion after the final press conference. Stark enters and his computer system, Jarvis, welcomes him, but its voice warps and fades out. Stark knows there must be an intruder and he calls out to them. Stark sees a shadow in the distance and demands to know who they are and what they want. The figure answers and comes into the light. It’s Nick Fury, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., played by Samuel L. Jackson. Fury gives Stark a minor tongue lashing for his arrogance, and then mentions a new initiative; the Avengers Initiative. Then it’s over.

Iron Man was a huge part of my childhood. The hours I spent playing with the toys, the mornings I’d spend watching the cartoon, and the few video games that were centered were all integral parts of my past. I never thought I’d be immersed in the child-like wonder I was when I first discovered Iron Man, but this movie did it. The few who saw the movie with me could vouch for that. Every action sequence, every flight, ever repulsor blast; it transformed me to my seven year-old self. And to feel that amazed again, well, it was incredible.

This Week in the Media

Boom Blox:

Boom Blox is a game made for Nintendo’s Wii by Steven Spielberg and Electronic Arts. It is a puzzle game that involves the player knocking over, pulling, sliding, colliding, and blowing up blocks. There are hundreds of puzzles to solve by yourself and many games to play with friends, such as shooting games and a Jenga-like mode. There is also a creation mode where you can build your own puzzles.

Puzzle games are one of my favorite genres of games. That may make me a nerd, but when they’re good, puzzle games can be addictive and lots of fun. And Boom Blox is a good puzzle game. The Single player mode is a lot of fun, mostly thanks to the motion controls of the Wii. The motions to move a block or tile mimics the motion you'd use in real life very well. The game simple and enjoyable, a lot like Tetris. The best part of the game is the Jenga multiple player mode. I have been playing it with my room mate most nights since we got it, and it’s exciting to see who’ll mess up first and make the structure crash. It's as exciting as Jenga is, at least. Bonus note- It makes a fun drinking game, too.

The game is good, but it costs $50, and I can’t endorse that price tag for a puzzle game. It probably cost so much because Speilberg’s name is attached to it. If you’re interested in it, either rent it or wait for it to go down in price.

Choke:

Choke is a 2001 novel written by Chuck Palahniuk, who is also the author of Fight Club. It is about a man named Victor Mancini who purposefully chokes on food in restaurants in order to con the person who saves his life out of money. Victor does this because he works at a terrible minimum wage job and needs the money to keep his mom in the nursing home she is in. Also, Victor is a sex addict. I’d go deeper but I don’t want to give out spoilers just in case somebody reads this and wants to check out the book.

I never read any other books by Palahniuk, but this one hasn’t made a fan out of me. It isn’t bad, though. The story is interesting enough, although I have a slight phobia of nursing homes which made it hard to read at times. Victor being a sex addict and knowing other sex addicts added a lot of interesting material, but in the long run I just didn’t like it.

I don’t like Palahniuk’s writing style. He spends the first chapter telling the reader not to read the book. That’s a unique way of starting off a book, true, but I don’t like being toyed with. If you tell me not to read your book, odds are I won’t. Reverse psychology is dangerous that way. Also, he repeats a lot of things. Stale isn’t the right word, but it’s the first that comes to mind.

Palahniuk was a very popular author amongst my friends, so I guess I was just expecting something more. But like I said, it wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t my style.

Season 1 of Burn Notice:

Burn Notice is a new show on the USA network. I have a long history with USA, and it’s a good history. The War Next Door, a show about Kennedy Smith, a super secret agent who just wants to retire, becomes next door neighbors with his seemingly indestructible nemesis, Kriegman, debuted on the USA network. It was a fun show, but only lasted 13 episodes. As a side note, it was made by the people who created The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Also, USA brought me Monk and Psych, both shows I like a lot. Especially Monk. I watched that show religiously for a while. But anyway, on with Burn Notice.

Burn Notice is about spy Michael Westen who gets fired for an unknown reason. The government virtually banishes him to Miami to start a new life, but Westen wants to know why he was fired. The show is good. It has a great blend of action, intrigue, and comedy. The writing is smart and the actors were well chosen my favorite casting job being Bruce Campbell as the lush best friend. The first season is over, but the second will premiere on July 10, 2008.

World War Hulk:

World War Hulk is a Marvel comic book miniseries that takes place after Planet Hulk. In Planet Hulk, the Hulk was sent against his will to an alien planet where he could live in peace without injuring anybody on Earth. The planet turned out to be ruled by an evil King, and the Hulk led a revolution against him. Once the revolution was won, Hulk was crowned the king and married his love interest. But then the spacecraft Hulk was sent on exploded, killing Hulk’s wife and unborn child. The Hulk suspects the spacecraft was detonated by the people who sent him to the planet, the Illuminati. The Illuminati is made up of some of the most powerful characters in the Marvel Universe, such as Professor X, Blackbolt, Iron Man, Reed Richards, Namor, and Dr. Strange. Enraged more than ever before, the Hulk decides to come back to Earth to get revenge on the ones who did this.

I really liked the story line of the miniseries, and the writing was good enough. It wasn’t the same caliber of the Civil War miniseries, but it was above average. There were plenty of good fights, culminating in the fight between the Hulk and the Sentry. The art was different from what I was expecting, but still good. It was just cartoonier than I was expecting. Overall, if you are in the need of a comic book miniseries, this is as good as any other.